“It is much easier to look outside than to look inside ”. You have likely heard this quote repeatedly, especially when someone else is being criticized. However, today we would like to put it in another context: when these criticisms are not for someone else, but for ourselves.
Comparing ourselves, thinking that we are not good enough, doubting our abilities and even verbally assaulting us is more common than you might imagine. You are not the only one who has made negative comments to yourself on more than one occasion, and although it is something “common” in our society, it doesn’t mean that it is correct. Negative comments towards ourselves, although we tend to minimize its short-term effects, in the long run generate a great impact. The truth is that they gradually destroy our self-esteem, our confidence in ourselves and lead us to suffer from mental conditions that affect our day to day.
But let’s go further! Let’s dive a little into how to fix this negative talk with ourselves.
Tips to speak in a more effective way to ourselves:
The best way to stop this negative dialogue consists of three fundamental steps:
- Ask questions that allow me to determine the reality of my thoughts
- Change the perspective with which I make a comment
- To practice every day
Ask questions that allow me to determine the reality of my thoughts:
It is very important that we realize that many times our mind makes us magnify a thought that, at the beginning, was small but that we gave it the power to become great. The following questions work very well to bring that thought back to the size it deserves:
- Is there really evidence to support this thought?
- Am I misinterpreting a situation?
- Am I anticipating negative conclusions?
- What’s the worst that could happen?
- What’s the best that could happen?
- In five years, is this going to matter?
- Is there something good about this situation?
By answering these questions we will have a clearer picture of reality and we will realize that perhaps all these negative things that crossed our minds were not as necessary or true as we believed.
Change the perspective with which I speak to myself
There will always be a positive way of expressing ourselves, it’s just a matter of looking for the right words! It sounds a bit complicated but believe us that it is easier than you think. We give you some examples so that you can guide yourself
- Instead of saying: “This shirt makes me look fat and ugly”, you can say: “This shirt is one size less than mine”.
- Instead of saying: “I failed the exam, I’m bad at everything I do, nothing works for me”, you can say: “ I didn’t meet my score expectations with this exam, but I know that a test doesn’t determine my knowledge. I am more than an exam “
To practice every day:
These tips will have results if you put them into practice every day. Just as we exercise our body to be the shape we want, the mind can also be exercised to our liking. It is likely that at first you won’t see results, that you feel a little strange repeating these phrases all day or even that you want to give up. Please don’t give up; you are going to discover that one day your mind alone is creating positive scenarios, it is reminding you how good you look today and how capable you are of facing every situation that comes your way.
Remember that if you feel like your mind is playing against you and you don’t know how to handle it, it’s always okay to seek help. At AMP Group Mental Health Services we are here to help you!